Friday, December 30, 2011

Our Nightmare comes to an end!


So here we are tired, but full of hope....that is quickly diminishing, standing in front of a girl native to Panama dressed all in pink, continuing on with her rudeness... straps on our ‘all inclusive wrist bands” and tells us to go for lunch, she then turns and walks into the back room!  Our jaws drop, we look at each other growing more frustrated and angrier by the minute!   All we want to do is check into our room, and get some food because now it is almost 4pm and our last attempt to eat was at 11am.
Ted and I both look towards our bags which are not being loaded we look to one another and then we look at the empty RUDE receptionist desk....we think that the bell man must have our room key, so we walk over to him and ask....he motions ‘no’ and points to the front desk again.....we decide to somewhat giveup until she returns and walk the 10 steps to the lobby bar to grab a bottle of water.   We open our waters to which the bartender says cinco (5) dollars?  Pardon?  We say “no we are all-inclusive!”...she replies....”aqua no included!!!”   You are Kidding!!!!   We had been advised not to drink the water here and now our ‘all inclusive’ “resort” does not provide bottled water in our package?   We pay and then head straight back to the front desk to ask for the key to our room!   We stood in line to wait as there was still no one at the front desk....we waited....and waited....the desk started to pile up with other visitors to the resort in search of help/answers/complaints???   and although we were in line first and others were lined behind us....our kind front desk attendee dressed in pink, called for the people behind us!!!!!!!    Again we glance at each other in shock, the couple that  had been called to come in front of us also looked confused....they said “please you were hear first”  
Our friendly host in pink said “yes”,
we replied..”could we please have our room keys”
“I told you to go for lunch first” she answered.
“We do not want to go for lunch we want to get our room please” Ted replied.
She turned without a response returning to the back room behind fogged glass.......
sometime after she came back holding an envelope in her hand..”2 keys and 2 towel cards.”  She hollard for a bell hop, but did not make eye contact with us and handed us the keys?????......what had we done....we did not understand why we would be treated this poorly, we then asked what time the (Vacation Carrier - I will not Mention) will return to their desk as we noticed his hours today were 2:30 - 6:30 and it was around 3:40?....she said without raising her head ‘try around 4.’
We got to our room while the staff was just leaving from cleaning it??  If you were expecting us last night why is our room being mopped and sheet being changed?....we had been guaranteed a King suite Ocean view....we had paid for a King suite Ocean view.....we opened the door to find a double room...overlooking the speakers for the beach!......We thought hey we have arrived lets just go eat and we will feel better....we walked down to the only buffet/restaurant they have and it is closed!!!   We asked where we could eat and they pointed to the pool bar....which was serving nachos....and not fresh mexican nachos but the nachos that you would find at 7-11, they taste great at 3am when you have just left the bar....but besides that you would not touch them!!!   Also due to the extreme humidity here their nachos are soggy and wet and the cheese has a layer of condensation on it.....we declined!!
We decided to head to the beach even though we were in a very low mood.....the beach was sandy and windy, and if all of you can believe it I was the more positive of the two saying how nice the sand and the beach was......it did not work....but it was now 4 so we headed back to the front desk (which is about 10 minutes away) to talk with our Vaca Rep!   4:05, 4:10, 4:15 (please keep in mind the rep was supposed to be there from 2:30 - 6:30)  Ted and I had agreed that we will catch more flys with honey...yet it was growing harder to keep this attitude....a crowd started to gather and finally at 4:23 he arrived!  He asked how could he help?.....we replied “where do we start!” 
We start to tell the story of our experience so far due to his company and this resort....he continually interrupted, and when we commented on our room he had said we do not guarantee rooms.....(however while in wait for this gentleman we went to the counter, to kill two birds with one stone, and asked about our room...our friend in pink informed us ..”that due to your late arrival we gave your room away, we may be able to move you tomorrow or the next day) we informed our rep of this, and he tried to back track....we were not going to argue even though we had already paid for that room so how could it be resold....we also realized that this is why we could not check in when we arrived they had to clean a different room for us!!)  Our Rep was very unwilling to listen and then we decided to throw up our white flag and say we have had so many problems finding this resort is it called the ‘Smile Playa Blanca’ he responded “yes”...to which we responded “then how come no one in your country has heard of you including your own front gate.....” he stammers and cannot find the words - he has no answer!  to which we reply we would like our money back!  This is not what was advertised to us, and therefor not what we paid for or what we were expecting!   He stood up and said you will have to take that up with representatives in Canada and walked away!!!!!!   What happened to finding a middle ground, hashing out differences, making customers happy...!!!!!   I will tell you that is not what Panama is about!!!!!!
We walked back to our room, defeated, back to separate beds on what was supposed to be a romantic relaxed holiday!!!  We decided to call Rewards and (the carrier) directly!   Rewards was great! extremely sympathetic and helpful.....within 20 minutes we had our room moved we had our King suite with the ocean view....things were looking good and the dinner buffet was about to open!
We called to thank the front desk and the rep for the move to which we were hung up on 3 times, before we realized there probably wasn’t a problem with our phone and we had been ‘black listed’ 
We headed for dinner....un-edible....we chalked it up to being in such horrible moods and decided to sit on the beach with a cocktail to watch the sun go down before retreating to our room.  
We came to the conclusion we would look for a place to move to just in case, so we pulled out the computer, Ted walked up to the lobby (10 minutes away) to buy internet for the next 3 hours for $8USD so we could sit in the comfort of our room while we searched......it didn’t work!!!  We headed back to the lobby with our computer to sit there, they would not give our money back as we will still be using it in their lobby...blah...blah...blah!!!!   We found 4 other hotels that may be what we were looking for, we wrote down the numbers and headed back to our room to call, we were unable to call out, we called the front desk and they informed us that we would need to put down a $30 deposit even to make local calls.....it was now 10:30 and we figured we would be better off calling in the morning due to our language barrier.  We went to bed with the attitude we would wake up in the morning and give it another try, !
We tucked in and then at 11pm it started....our room overlooked the outdoor grass hut ‘disco’ (bar....with speakers and bass that rattled our room)...that ended around 2 am which was more enjoyable then what was to com... the rooftop door right above us that doesn’t close because there is no handle started slamming in the wind every 15 minutes or less....It sounded like a gun shot rattling the room every time!!
We awoke at 7am to the groundskeepers right below our deck....not sure why this wing gets the latest night music and the earliest pruning but hey....it was all about par!
We decided to head for breakfast because if we missed it we would not eat again until 12:30 (that is another thing with Panama...All-Inclusive...your meal times are very structured, there is no in between service like you would find in Mexico)  We sat down and ordered our coffee...optimistic for the day!!   I got up to start on breakfast, ‘fresh’? fruit was all I found to eat...and I’m not picky!!!!  I placed my fruit down, made my coffee to my liking and then told Ted I was going to stand in the very long fresh made omelet line....(which side bar....they keep their eggs in open cartons in the hot air all day long and you buy per egg here?...) Ted came up while I was half way thru the line informing me that he had to go back to the room to grab something.....when I turned back our table had been taken over...COME ON!!!    We sat at a new table and got new coffees...and rolled through the motions of trying to choke down the food on our plate.....it was done.... we had to leave!!!!
We headed to the front desk to put our deposit for the phone, to which the man at the front told us there was no need on local calls....to which we explained we had tried last night and it hadn’t worked, so when we called the front desk they said we did need a deposit.....he took our $30 USD....probably just to please us at this point....we then walked to the bar, I ordered a coffee with Baileys....”Bailey’s is not included” the bartender replied....to which we had to laugh and walk away!...we headed back........... and sure enough our phone still did not work!  We called the front desk AGAIN (joking now that we couldn’t even get out of this nightmare)  and they asked who we wanted to call...we had to lie and say friends at the INTERCONTINENTAL PLAYA BONITA (our saviors...and thanks Aunty Sue as I still had your email and knew you would hook us up with something sanitary and comfy).... we got thru and they had room...before Ted got off the phone I was packing our bags!  We were free.....lets get out!
Through all of this I did not take one photo....I didn’t feel the need, except perhaps the collections of hair and grime on the sink and toilet, the cracked shower tiles full of pink bacteria....the broken plastic patio chairs, the worn out, stained bath towels...I couldn’t show you face cloths or hand towels do to the absence of those all together!!   I could show you an empty fridge and was crawling with mold or bed linens that looked dingy and unwashed.......but hey who is really looking ;-)))
Even checkout was a gong show they had no idea who we were still or what room we were in.....so off we went for another 2hour and 15min (this time) cab ride to our new destination!   
We arrived and knew we were here!!!!

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